her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
