Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
