she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
