RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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