yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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