i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
