Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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