you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
