I wish I could teleport
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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