you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
