nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
