Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
