Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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