is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
