i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
