My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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