I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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