just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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