Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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