forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
