yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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