3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
