he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Even my vagina gasped.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
