I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
