I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
