PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There's always time for handjobs
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
