it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
