There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
