So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
