I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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