Your tits are I can't wait for
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
