umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
