i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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