I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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