you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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