You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
