she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
