Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
