I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
