In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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