afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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