I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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