You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
