if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
