oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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