Your tits are I can't wait for
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I don't deserve a penis
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
