So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
