I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
