? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
