Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have aggressive nipples.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
