Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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